I’m not due to give birth to Dash Two until November 22. However, the way things have been going lately (low amniotic fluid, a placenta that is already kaput and some serious swelling issues) I might be induced in the next week or so. That is, unless my doctor decides he wants to get all masochistic on me or something.
…read more
Holiday movie season is almost upon us and the studios will be vying to get you and your children into the theater with one blockbuster after another. Here are some tips that might make your time at the movies more enjoyable.
GROUND RULES. Before getting to the theater, set your expectations regarding acceptable behavior during the movie. Should talking be limited to a whisper only when necessary? Do tantrums during the movie mean an early exit? Lay down the ground rules up front.
…read more
…read more
Jewelry and I have a very dysfunctional relationship. I love to buy it; I always admire it onothers; I love to give it as a gift…but I rarely wear it myself. Admittedly, I have a pretty conservative style when it comes to fashion, and I shy away from anything that’s “showy” or screams “Hey, Notice me!” For the past few years I’ve noticed many Moms I know wearing ID tag necklaces with their children’s names on them. They look great on everyone I see, but, they’re just not me.
…read more
Do you remember life before babies? Do your wear your hair in a ponytail, no makeup and sweats every day? Do you wear mismatched undergarments? Has your life been reduced to one single purpose-your children? You may have become just another casualty of an affliction called Stay at Home Martyrdom. Time to get yourself back on track, girlfriends! Time to get The Stay-at-Home Martyr: A Survival Guide for Having a Life Outside Your Kids by Joanne Kimes and Jennifer Worley.
Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday. I was four months old the first time I ever went trick-or-treating. I was dressed as a mouse.
As I got older my parents along with my Aunt Darlene and Uncle Barry, would craft ornate floats for the local Halloween parades. Once year they built a replica of the brownstone buildings lining Sesame Street and my cousins and I dressed as Big Bird, Cookie Monster and Ernie. The story goes, that during the parade…I fell asleep. My mom stuck her hand out of the prop brownstone building through the entire parade clutched onto me so I would not fall off the float.
…read more
On Saturday night, my old lady and I hit the town… Levittown that is. We met some friends at the Diner and had a quick bite to eat. The Diner is a very tricky place. It’s like an island filled with the mythical Sirens and a bunch of fat people. The Sirens just sing their sweet melodies, calling you and whispering sweet Tuna Melt temptations, luring you with the waking dreams of Gyros and Mozzarella Cheese Fries with Gravy. Evil I tell you. I myself am a fan of the Triple Decker Turkey Club Sandwich. I even had a little WTF moment and partook in the Matzoh Ball Soup. Dee-lish! Also, against my better judgement, I had a Corona to boot. No I don’t need no stinking glass, thank you kind sir. The white trash meter was running high indeed. Anyway, you’re probably thinking, why so fancy schmancy?
…read more
…read more
At six months, most babies start getting their first teeth. Anyone who has ever had a toothache can only imagine just how babies must feel while going through teething. Unpleasant at best and painful at worst. Irritability, sleeplessness and crying, may also be joined by increased drooling and even low grade fevers. While teething just might be the worst physical experience a young child may have to go through, the good news is that there are lots of ways to soothe the pain of teething.
During the first two and a half years of my son’s life I avoided Thomas the Tank Engine like it was the Black Death.
Well-meaning friends and family would smile into Benjamin’s face, enthusiastically inquiring, “Do you love Thomas?” and I would scowl and begin a diatribe about how disturbing I found subanthropomorphised trains.
Then, PBS removed It’s a Big, Big World from its daily lineup.
…read more
I have been obsessing about getting my 3-year old into private school. Driving my husband crazy, annoying my friends, having sleepless nights. Basically all of the crazy cliches you’ve heard of. Well, it was the night before one of our big interviews and I decided to make salmon for dinner. MY daughter didn’t want to eat it but I made her it even though she didn’t want to. That night she broke out in hives! I had no idea she was allergic. Luckily it didn’t affect her throat or anything serious but her entire face broke out and she was scratching all night. The next morning not only was she exhausted, but one of her eyes was almost swollen shut. She looked awful. I made an early doctor’s appointment and pumped her with Benadryl. I of course tried to reschedule the interview with no success. At the interview she was a nightmare, irritable and scary looking. My husband told me it served me right for getting too caught up in the competition. I didn’t want that school anyway:)
I often say that staying in the “Sex and the Sippy” mindset is not an …read more
8pm-10pm operation. Have you heard the phrase, “foreplay starts in
morning?” In order to feel like sexy time is at all an option after
chasing kids and doing endless loads of laundry you’re going to have
to put some effort in mammas.
