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With holiday season upon us, along with all that it entails, from gift shopping to office parties to decorations and the anticipation of the Christmas bonus, it is easy to forget the bonuses that you will actually have to pay out in the form of tips. Figuring out who gets and who doesn’t and how much it should be is a guessing game that has no final answer. Here are some suggested guidelines for tipping this season.
I sent an email in lieu of a phone call because who am I kidding. These days, just two weeks post-birth with my second child I don’t have time for small talk when there’s pumping, changing, feeding and trying to get cat naps in. Those naps are way too precious to waste on discussing whether or not the new season of the Bachelor is going to be any good this time around.
So the email. It was to a close friend who I normally exchange the usual over indulgent Christmas gift with. Whether near or far we send gifts and if possible spend the day together. It is one of the highlights of my holiday season too. Except this year. I just don’t have the time or the budget to spend on a gift that really isn’t needed. I proposed we spend the afternoon together having lunch and just hanging out sans gifts.
To me, in this busy world, gifts are often given in place of the time we can spend with each other and this year I just don’t want one more thing to take up space no matter how cute or thoughtful it is. Instead, I want to focus on my friend and our friendship. When half of my own family has been hit by hard times in the last few months and our family has decided to not exchange gifts I don’t feel right shopping for tiny bud vases, decadent treats or another scarf from a chic boutique. It seems much more in the true holiday spirit, if not PC, to be nurturing a friendship.
Today, I heard back from my friend. She agreed to put aside the gifts she had already purchased for my birthday this coming spring. We will spend the day together doing nothing other than catching up and doing what we do best- making time to discuss things like the status of the ‘Bachelor’, ‘Survivor’ and other reality TV shows. I can hardly wait too.
Failing in all aspects of its production, from conception to execution, the new animated epic DELGO is the must-miss family film of the year. The poorly conceived story combines fantasy, action, romance and slapstick into a directionless mess that will not find a receptive audience among children, teens or adults and pairs it with lackluster voice performances and artless animation.
It was 10:00 AM on a typically crazy morning before the holidays. I had dropped my two kids off at school and was happily well on my way to the mall to get some more last minute presents. My cell rang and it was my friend asking if I was at the holiday show yet and if I could save her a seat. Holiday show? Today was the holiday show? I had completely forgotten about my kindergartners first big holiday show. She even had a speaking part!! I would have slammed on the breaks right then and there but I was going about 65 mph on the highway. I then begged my friend to save me a seat and quickly swerved off the highway at the nearest exit. But just my luck, between the recent snowfall and my getting slightly lost (should have sprung for the GPS) it took much longer to make my way back to the school. I sped into the parking lot and sprinted into the auditorium. I was sweaty, out of breath, and didn’t have a camera but I made it. I saw her face light up when she spotted me. I guess catching the last 5 minutes of a 20 minute concert is better than nothing. I could have hugged my friend who had randomly called me. If she hadn’t I would have missed it all. Thankfully, my daughter had the last speaking part so I got to see that too. Sure she was dressed in jeans with her hair going every which way, while the other girls were in perfect dresses with their hair in bows, but she said her lines in a loud clear voice and ended with a huge smile. She was definately the cutest kid in the room (of course I’m not biased). Later she asked me why I was late and I told her I was on the other side of the room, she just hadn’t seen me. I figured it was okay to tell a little white lie so I didn’t come off like the deadbeat mom I truly am. Don’t tell anyone 
Yesterday Michael delivered some artwork to his gallery. Upon seeing him, someone squealed, “I hear congratulations are in order!”
“Congratulations for what?” he replied.
To his surprise, the woman’s reply was a resounding, “Jessica’s pregnant!”
Uh, no.
As the color returned to Michael’s face, the gallery owner appeared. “Yea…I heard that, too,” she said.
I guess this is what happens when you are a recluse. People just make stuff up about you. This rumor is peculiar. Where did it start? Who started it? Do I look fat? I weigh 106 pounds! Michael and I are perplexed. Since we met in 1994, we have been very vocal supporters of the “only child” concept. Don’t get me wrong. We knew we would eventually have one child. Only one. After ten years of marriage, we had our one. And, I still have nightmares about having a second child. Benjamin is my favorite and my best (as Lola would say).
Plus, I am an only child. I love being an only child. I never yearned for a sibling. Nope. Not me. I’m as content as can be.
Benjamin is (and will always be) an only child. The concept of being a singleton is dear to my heart. In fact, I even sell a line of apparel and accessories at Café Press called Only Child™. Only children get a bad reputation. People think we are lonely. People believe we are spoiled. People assume we cannot share. Okay, that one is true. I hate to share. And, I’ll gladly impart that characteristic on my singleton. He takes good care of his toys—why should he be expected to share them with the germy, sticky-handed masses?
Well, we are attending an opening at the gallery this weekend. I imagine quite a few people will be congratulating me on my phantom pregnancy. I’m anxious to see Benjamin’s face when it happens. I won’t share my copy of To Kill a Mockingbird, why would anyone think I would share my love? Gossiping fools.
In a statistic that the CDC calls “upsetting”, 28 pregnant women in the U.S. have died from the swine flu and 100 more have been hospitalized.
Babies born to obese mothers are 30 percent more likely to have congenital heart defects.
Medical advances can help prevent genetic abnormalities in newborns:
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This Out-Numbered is dedicated to my awesomely chill second kid. Happy Birthday!
When my wife and I were first discussing the possibility of having a second child, one of the questions that kept coming up was… “Do you think we’ll love it as much as we love our first?” Hmmmm. Good question. Totally impossible to answer without sounding cold and heartless but a very good question. I honestly didn’t know the answer. But I always heard from my parents and grandparents that you love each child differently. Not more, just differently. Yeah right. What happens when one kid is smarter than the other? What happens when one kid is prettier? You always hear siblings say, “I’m the good one”. It’s inevitable. What if the new kid gets all messed up like Jan Brady? Or even worse, Macaulay Culkin in, “The Good Son”. You remember… In a quiet town… In a comfortable home… In a perfect body… Evil can be as close as someone you love. It didn’t seem fair.
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