I was reading an article once regarding kids who overeat, and during that time, my kids kept coming up and asking for food. I mean they went through a ton in that span of like 15 minutes. However, everything that they had, was some type of fruit, from some apples, grapes, pineapple. Well they came back up again after already digging in asking for some more fruit. I said no, you’ve already eaten too much and if you eat more, you won’t eat dinner. They were asking for fruit!
My wife went back to work a couple of weeks ago for the first time in three years. For three years I’ve been living in a bubble. I got up. I worked out. I pranced around in my underwear eating Zone Bars and drinking Rock Star / No Sugar Energy Drinks. I went online and updated my status on Facebook and Twitter. Sometimes I even watched re-runs of the Odd Couple when the rest of the family was asleep. I came home after work and dinner was waiting. My kids were bathed and ready for bed. It was like I had a Fairy Kid Mother watching over me. She made my life easy.
Sound of said bubble bursting….POP!
…read more
Today’s top news headlines for parents
By simply lowering the standards that need to be reached, the Education Department thinks many states are fudging the numbers when it comes to student achievement levels.
A study by the Johns Hopkins Children’s Center reports that up to 17,000 children have died unnecessarily over the last two decades due to a lack of medical insurance.
Kids with swine flu are filling up hospital emergency rooms:
…read more
We call her The Lioness. My daughter. Not my mother. Her blond hair is so wildly curly it often defies gravity even on a good day. It’s like a white girl fro. Most days I have to apply conditioner and detangler to get a comb through her waves and curls. However, I have figured out how to manage it. I figure it took so long for my bald-until-two baby to grow those locks. It’s my job to take good care of it.
…read more
Today’s top news headlines for parents
One million window blinds and shades sold at IKEA, Bed Bath & Beyond and Hanover Direct have been recalled due to a strangulation risk to young kids.
Google co-founder (and high school dropout) Sergey Brin has some ideas about reforming education and they focus computers, computers and computers.
Note to Linda Vista Elementary School: When giving out t-shirts to students with a made-up-for-fun 800 number, make sure that it is not a transsexual sex chat line.
Levi Johnston claims Sarah Palin joked about her “retarded baby”:
…read more
I was at the dollar tree store. My oldest son was 3 years old nearing 4 years old. My second son (I have three currently) was just under a year old, but in that phase of moving around way too much.He was sitting in the front part of the basket, and my oldest was in the bigger part, I didn’t have the shopping cart cover under him, but did have him strapped in. Not thinking anything of it, he manages to get himself out of it by standing up, and then proceeds to go overboard. I was in the process of paying when my older son screams mommy there he was holding my other son by the foot dangling out of the cart, he saved him from falling flat on his face!
It was parent day at school where the parents are allowed to come sit in the back of the classroom. My 6 year old daughter raised her hand and announced that she had lice. There was a collective gasp among the observing parents. I was mortified. The teacher, who was aware of the situation, said, “You did have lice. Last week. It’s all gone now.” A mom sitting next to me said, “You really shouldn’t have sent her back to school so soon. If that spreads everyone is going to be pretty unhappy.” My meek comment was, “The nurse said it was okay.”
Just released on Blu-ray and DVD this week, we revisit our review of the theatrical premiere of DreamWorks animated blockbuster, MONSTERS VS. ALIENS.
The battle at the heart of MONSTERS VS. ALIENS is the fight waged against mediocrity. And the tragic report from the front lines is that the monsters, the aliens and the viewers lost the fight. This DreamWorks release might employ state of the art 3-D technology to make an impressive looking film but the characters are strictly one-dimensional and the story is even flatter than that. Despite the great expectations that preceded it, this movie is its own worst enemy by failing to beat the boredom driven by a script that seemed to think it could ride on its admittedly great premise and settled for a derivative, paint-by-numbers story.
The movie starts out great and within the first few minutes it has promised us that there is going to be a lot to like about this film. A 50-foot woman! Monsters! Aliens! The Earth under attack! And all of it in 3-D! What more could you ask for? To start, most of us would hope for some originality.
After a solid opening, things come to a screeching halt as the general in charge of the secret lab holding Earth’s monsters is required to deliver the heavy handed exposition that tells us what we already picked up on. Monsters really do exist and they are being held in a secret facility for the safety and psychological well-being of a public that just couldn’t handle the truth. This short sequence illustrates what is wrong with the rest of the film. It is clumsy, boring and is the harbinger of the lack of creativity that could have elevated this story above its roots as a cheesy b-movie. For the rest of the show, the film suffers from the same level of pedestrian storytelling. Moments that should have been played as clever homage are simply derivative lifts from better movies.
Is it fair to wonder what this film would have been in the hands of the filmmakers at Pixar? Would it have been more than just some slapstick wrapped around a few unexciting action set pieces? Would it have heroes that we actually cared about? Would it have had a heart and a soul? Whether it is fair question to ask or not, it is foremost in my mind and the answer is obvious.
Reese Witherspoon leads the cast as Susan Murphy, the young bride-to-be turned 50-foot woman Ginormica, although she brings nothing of her usual charm and snap to her performance here. But it is hard to hold her at fault in this regard as she did not have much to work with. Susan Murphy, the human face of our monster heroes, is actually the one that connects with us the least. Average in every way before her wedding date with destiny, the day she is hit with the meteor that turns her into a giant, Murphy is a poor role model who values her worth through the love of her thoughtless cad of a fiancé. And as she struggles to save her colleagues, we are supposed to accept that her new physical strength is symbolic of an inner strength that is belied by the ending. Ginormica is a generic gimmick when she should have been brought to life as a tragic, lost hero that takes us on a journey toward someplace… anyplace. Once again, just poor storytelling at work.
Seth Rogen is perfect as the dopey gelatin blob B.O.B. who brings an infectious idiocy to his role that succeeds in grabbing your attention while he is on screen. Will Arnett as the Missing Link, Kiefer Sutherland as General W.R. Monger (war monger, get it?) and Rainn Wilson as the evil alien leader Gallaxhar all give performances that they saw someone do before. The biggest disappointment is the utter waste of Stephen Colbert as the President of the USA. Colbert should have been let loose to steal once scene after another but instead is handcuffed with lame shtick (the button for coffee is right next to the nuclear launch button- oops!). The biggest revelation is Hugh Laurie as Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. Give this roach his own movie. While the Dr. should have been the leader of our heroes, it was in name only has he is marginalized on the sideline. What a waste.
In addition to the obvious limitations of the script, perhaps the disappointing reality of MONSTERS VS. ALIENS is due in no small part to the major expectation of greatness that it created for itself by releasing one of the season’s best trailers. It looked great and set itself up as possibly the best movie ever. Maybe if it didn’t look so good and have so much promise, it could have slid by as the b-grade monster movie it actually turned out to be. But today’s market for animation is different. The bar has been raised and studios go after the adults as well as the kids. Filmmaker needs to understand that if they want both audiences, they need to create movies that exist on two different levels, both as cinema and cartoons.
One last thing that I feel I need to mention. In the late night screening that I attended, as the credits began to roll, a young voice of not more than five or six years old shouted out “Best movie ever!”. And maybe that is all that matters.
Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen, Hugh Laurie, Kiefer Sutherland, Stephen Colbert, Rainn Wilson
Directed by: Rob Letterman (Shark Tale), Conrad Vernon (Shrek 2)
Rated PG
Running time: 94 minutes
Today’s top news headlines for parents
A Space Shuttle astronaut might end up welcoming his newborn into the world from Earth orbit.
After losing his 9-year old son, a father makes it his mission to get the word out about congenital heart defects.
A dying 6-year old leaves behind love notes to her family:
…read more
Walt Disney’s 1937 masterpiece, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, is headed to high definition and you can save $10 off the price tag if you act fast. Set for release on October 6th, this marks the Disney princess’s first appearance on Blu-ray.
In addition to being Disney’s first cartoon feature film, Snow White was the first full-length cel-animated film ever made. The film was both a critical and box office success and earned Walt a unique set of honorary Oscars – one full size statuette and seven miniatures to go along with it.
Pre-order Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs at Amazon.com now using code “snowhite” at check-out (use one “w”) and you will save $10 off the current price of $24.99. We’re not sure how long this special offer will last act fast if you plan on getting this family classic.
No film in history has captured the worlds imagination like Walt Disneys first full-length animated masterpiece. Through astonishing Blu-ray high definition technology, experience this timeless classic in its most spectacular presentation ever! With an all-new, state-of-the-art digital restoration and Disney Enhanced High Definition sound, the breathtaking animation and unforgettable music of the most revered Disney film of all time will enthrall you like never before!
Join the beautiful princess Snow White as she escapes her jealous stepmother, the queen, and befriends a lovable group of dwarfs. But when she falls under the queens wicked spell, only true loves kiss can save her
Bonus Features Include: Snow White Returns Storyboard Featurette Was Walt planning a Snow White sequel? With newly discovered storyboards Disney animators show how this sequel would have played out, Princess and the Frog Sneak Peek Exclusive sneak peek at the 1st 5 minutes before it hits theaters, The One that Started it All Featurette This featurette within Hyperion Studios reveals how Snow White forever changed the world of movies and the world at large, All New Tiffany Thornton Music Video to Someday My Prince Will Come, Audio Commentary with Walt Disney – Amazon.com
