Should I stop rocking my baby to sleep at night?
Dear Mrs. Pickle,
I rock my 19 month old son to sleep every night and now that’s become his bedtime ritual. A friend told me that I should just be putting him in his crib to go to sleep at night because he’ll become used to me and won’t learn to fall asleep on his own. I really enjoy our “rocking” time at night. Do you think I should stop?
Melissa
Dear Melissa,
It can be wonderfully soothing for both parent and baby to have some rocking time before bed. There is nothing wrong with soothing your baby to sleep in this fashion, however I would caution not to rock him to the actual sleep state every single time, otherwise he may have difficulty learning to fall asleep on his own. Try rocking him just until he is on the brink of sleeping and then putting him in his crib. He may cry at first, but eventually he will learn to sooth himself to sleep the rest of the way. Babies do need to learn how to fall asleep on their own and rocking your baby most of the way there is a great way to help him do this. You are soothing him and calming him just enough so that he will be able to finish the job on his own in a relaxed, peaceful state. If he does happen to fall asleep while you are rocking him, however, don’t feel that you need to wake him up. Sometimes he can be put in asleep, sometimes awake. The key is to provide him with the opportunity to learn to fall asleep on his own by making sure that you don’t rock him to a full sleep state every single time.
Best of luck,
Mrs. Pickle
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Dear Mrs. Pickle,
I have two boys, one 26 months and the other 13 months. I am a huge advocate of Marc Weissbluth and follow his methods to a tee-and have been successful until recently. My 13 month old has the following schedule: napping from between 9:30/10:00 till 11:00/11:30 (sometimes even 12) and then again from 2:30ish/3:00pm (depending on when he woke up from the morning nap) till 4:00/4:30 and then goes to bed between 6:45 and 7:15pm and wakes up between 6:45am/7:00am. An absolute dream. UNTIL a few weeks ago he just won’t take that morning nap regularly…he is clearly tired but still won’t fall a sleep (not every day but frequently enough to have me concerned about it) We’ve tried everything Dr. Weissbluth recommends and nothing seems to be working. I need my mornings back (my 26 month old is in school for the morning)!!! Hope you can help this stressed out mommy.
Thanks.
Shirley
Dear Shirley,
I do believe that your son may possibly be beginning to give up his morning nap. This is a tough time, as two naps are often too many and one nap is not enough. One thing to consider is his behavior when you put him in his crib in the morning. Does he cry or does he play? At this age, he is most likely playing through the nap. If this is the case, you will need to move the morning nap closer to 11:00. He may or may not take his second nap, but you should still put him in his crib for that nap so that he can get some quiet rest. The goal is to eventually have your child take his single nap around the 11:00 hour and then put him to bed earlier at night until he gets used to a one nap schedule. Once he is used to having a single nap, you can then move the nap to after lunch and go back to his regular bedtime hour. Unfortunately, you may no longer have your mornings to yourself, but you will have a happy child!
Best of luck!
Mrs. Pickle
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Dear Mrs. Pickle,
I am the proud mother of a little miracle called Fabian. He is 7 1/2 weeks and I am a little worried about his “way” of going down at bedtime. Sometimes he has really good days when my soothing methods work like a charm and he sleeps quite well through the day and it does indeed make it easier to put him down at night. But sometimes he has days when whatever we do he won’t sleep more than 10 minutes so he misses out on his day naps. He ends up getting crankier and crankier. We continue to try to get him to sleep but don’t have any luck. On those nights he is crazy at bedtime: he starts acting very weird…his body hardens and he starts breathing very fast and hard accompanied by crying as well …plus he starts kicking his legs, arms, head, the whole package…and then instantly he relaxes and tries to sleep. He does this a couple of times and then he finally gives in …what is going on? And why is it that he is having a hard time sleeping through the day too??
Thank you for your help,
Anamaria
Dear Anamaria,
First, be sure that if you are worried about anything physically with your baby you contact your pediatrician right away. Other then that, it sounds to me like he is simply overtired on the nights where he has his “tantrums.” Are you allowing him to sleep during the daytime in a quiet, motionless, semi-dark environment? This is very important, as even though babies can sleep through noise, movement, and light, they often do not get the quality sleep in an environment like this that will actually fully “re-charge their battery.” Also, try to keep his sleep schedule, including naps and bedtime, as consistent as possible. This can be difficult for a 7 1/2 month old, but babies thrive on routines and are most soothed and comforted when they know what is coming next, even at this age. If he is only having these “tantrums” on the days when he is not napping well, you can probably be assured that it is simply a case of being overtired and just work to make sure his daytime naps are better. This means putting him somewhere quiet, semi-dark, and without motion after he has been awake for no more than an hour to an hour and a half at a time. This should help with his daytime naps, which should eliminate this bedtime behavior.
Best of luck!
Mrs. Pickle
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This is excatly what happened to my child.