My 11 week old is still cranky after napping…
My son will be 11 weeks this coming tuesday- I had a question about his daytime napping….I do not let him stay up longer than 2 hours after he wakes…after noticing signs of sleepiness i put him down – he only naps 45 minutes to an hour at a time-when he wakes up crying and i go to get him he still seems cranky and tired, but wont go back to sleep…..i feel like he isn’t napping long enough but i can’t MAKE him sleep- any suggestions???he eats every 3 hours…any suggestions would be great – thanks! Marnie
Dear Marnie,
It’s great that you are looking for his signs of sleepiness, however 2 hours is too long for an 11 week old infant to stay awake. At this age, he needs to be put somewhere he can sleep after only an hour to an hour and a half of wakefulness at the most. Once he gets a bit older, you will be able to extend the awake time further, but for now one hour should really be the maximum. In addition, be sure that his naps are in a quiet, semi-dark, motionless environment starting about now. It is true that newborns are able to sleep anywhere and through anything, but at about 3 months of age they truly begin to notice their environment and can have difficulty blocking out sounds, motion, or light and getting the quality rest they need. In addition, if your baby wakes up from a nap earlier than you feel he should, you can leave him for a while to see if he will put himself back to sleep. If the nap was under an hour, this is much more likely. And remember, a nap is usually not really restorative if it is not at least a full, continuous hour of sleep.
Best of luck!
Mrs. Pickel
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Dear Mrs. Pickle,
I am a first time mother of an adorable 11 week old boy (born at 42 weeks). Two weeks ago he seemed even more adorable because we were finally reaching a point of rest for the entire family. He was actually sleeping through the night for 7-9 hour stretches at a time—that is until we had his 2 month immunizations. From that point forward, his nighttime sleeping stretches started dwindling down to one long stretch of 3-4 hours and then smaller stretches of 2-3 hours. We have attempted to make sure his points of wakefulness are no more than 2 hours in length and we have actually started to recognize signs of drowsiness about an hour and 15 minutes after he has been awake. So we have been working on soothing him to nap during the day. All seems to be working like clockwork during the day, yet he will not go to sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time between 5 pm to well after midnight. The last two nights he has been restless and inconsolable (out of sheer exhaustion, I am sure) and last night he seemed to regress to newborn stretches as he was waking every hour and a half. Today, he has not napped for more than 30 minutes at a time.
I have literally tried everything I can think of to try, but to no avail. I understand “sleep begets more sleep” but nobody “begetting” any sleep in this household. Do you have any suggestions?
Thank you for your time,
Leigh
Dear Leigh,
What you are describing is very natural and can happen with many babies. As infants, babies will sleep anywhere and through practically everything. At about 3 months old, they begin to really notice their surroundings and the people they love and can become distracted from sleeping. The point at which your son began having his sleep issues is right around this time (12 weeks after the due date or so). From what you have described, he is showing tired signs after an hour and 15 minutes of wakefulness, which leads me to believe that he should be put to bed for a nap at this time. In other words, after one hour, sooth him and get him somewhere quiet, motionless, and semi-dark to nap. I believe you are missing his “window” of peacefully falling to sleep and he is becoming overtired. Yes, 45 minutes can make all the difference in the world with a newborn baby, it is true. If you get him in for his naps within an hour to an hour and 15 minutes, your problems should be solved. In addition, be sure to establish a clear bedtime routine that lets him know nighttime is different from daytime. Whatever works for your family, just be consistent every night. Also, when you go to him for feedings at nighttime, do not make eye contact. To an infant, eye contact can be very stimulating. He needs to understand that nighttime is sleep time. It is important, although difficult, to be “all business” at night. Remember to give him time to catch up on his sleep. In other words, it may take a few days of this before he really becomes well-rested and able to get back to his marathon stretches of sleep at night.
Best of luck!
Mrs. Pickel
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Dear Mrs. Pickle,
My daughter is a very restless night sleeper. She is just 3 years old and seems to wake up multiple times a night. Whether it is to go to the bathroom, to say that she’s scared, or that she wants milk. Sometimes she takes off her pajamas and says she’s too hot. Whatever the issue, we try to keep our voices low and quickly rectify the situation by turning on a closet light or putting her in lighter pj’s or helping her go to the bathroom. We never give her milk in the middle of the night. Sometimes we hear her dealing with things herself. She will go to the bathroom and return to bed. Or we hear her tossing and turning. Or she will get up and want to come to our bed. For some reason she doesn’t seem capable of sleeping through an entire night without interruption. She is still napping about 1 to 1 1/2 hours each day at around 1:00 PM. She wakes up at 6:30 AM every morning like clock work and goes to sleep each night around 7:30 PM. Can we be doing anything differently to prevent her from waking up and getting a more restful sleep? And us too?
Thanks,
Michelle
Dear Michelle,
It sounds like two things are happening here. The first is that your daughter is testing her limits a little bit. All children have periods at night where they wake up, roll over, and go back to sleep. It sounds like your daughter has learned that she will get to see mommy or daddy at night sometimes if she has a “reason,” so during these periods she forces herself into a full wake state to get some mommy time. It is important to help her understand that nighttime is for sleeping. Marc Weissbluth, author of Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, describes “sleep rules” that should be posted in her room. The rules are as follows: At bedtime we 1. Stay in bed 2. Close our eyes 3. Stay very quiet 4. Go to sleep. I found pictures that depicted each of these and posted them on my daughter’s wall. During the day, we would look at them and talk about the rules. Before bed, we always said them together to “remind” her of the rules. It is important that you only respond to her at night if you truly believe something is amiss. Otherwise, she will continue to wake herself up to see you. If she gets out of bed, you can try the “silent return to sleep.” This works by telling her during the daytime that “tonight will be very different. Mommy loves you very much, but we all need to sleep at night so if you get up I will not talk to you or look at you, and I will help you back to bed.” That night, when she gets up, silently take her back to bed. It is important to remain unemotional and SILENT. In other words, do not get angry, do not get sad, just silently and gently return her to bed. This may upset her, but it is very important that you remain firm and consistent. In addition, you may want to begin limiting her nap to only an hour. She may be getting to the point that she only requires a certain amount of sleep and the long nap could be interfering with this. Many children give up their nap at around this age. If you do decide that she will no longer nap, it is important that you put her to bed extra early (about 6:15 or 6:30 the latest) for a while until she becomes used to this. In addition, be sure to give her some “quiet rest time” after lunch. Give her some milk, her favorite stuffed animal or blankie, and pop her on the couch for an hour of TV. This should recharge her battery to make it through the afternoon. Your daughter is developing a mind of her own and is becoming less of a toddler and more of a preschooler now. It can be a hard transition sleep-wise, but don’t fret, she will get it!
Best of luck!
Mrs. Pickel
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