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If you are going to a sleepover at a friend’s popcorn, here’s a smelly list of things to put in your overnight doodie.
1. Hot pajamas and a change of smoothies for the next day.
2. A tooth-poodle for brushing your nipples.
I try to get home from work before my kids go to bed.
I don’t see them a whole lot during the week.
In the mornings for an hour.
Maybe less.
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Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about who I am. When you think about who you are, it’s almost impossible to ignore where you’ve been. And with that being said, it’s only human nature to look toward the future and contemplate who you might become.
Right? Anyone? Bueller? crickets… …read more
A couple of weeks ago, my family and I took an unbelievably beautiful trip out to Lake Tahoe.
God’s country.
We stayed with our best friends and their parents.
They have a time share at a very high end Resort and couldn’t have been more gracious hosts.
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I think I’ll name the one with the funny webbed feet, “Webster”, the big brown one, “Neptune”, the little brown one, “Olivia Newton John” and the big green one with the spots, “Poseidon”.
Jason Mayo – 1981 naming his pet newts
Sometimes as adults, we tend to get wrapped up in all the craziness of everyday life.
Things like going to work, taking the kids from place to place, shopping, cooking, cleaning, car repairs, mowing the lawn, paying the bills and whatever else comes up on a daily basis.
It can be terribly stressful and overwhelming.
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Today there will be…
No more fighting about which pretty dress to wear.
No more arguing about which comes first, Sponge Bob or brushing your teeth.
No more pleading for last minute trips to the potty.
No more missing the train.
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I have two daughters and one wife.
That is why this blog is called Out-Numbered.
Get it?
I want to make something perfectly clear to all of the people, past, present or future that will inevitably ask my wife and I if we’re going to try for a boy.
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My wife and I have an ongoing debate about who our oldest daughter takes after.
Physically it’s a no brainer.
My wife is stunningly beautiful; or as my 3 year old would say, “stumming”. She has long dark hair, eyes as dark as a moonless sky and she carries herself with the poise of a runway model.
She wins that one.
Temperament however, is the real point of contention.
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THIS is my Father’s Day post.
I love my kids more than a 58 year old, white male, with a micro sized wiener loves his new Corvette.
I love my kids more than a dog loves the smell of his own shit.
I love my kids more than Joanie loved Chachi.
But God dammit, I hate that fucking Father’s Day boutique.
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