Bathtub and Baby Overflow
My husband held our 8-month-old while he waited for me to get the bath water just right. She was naked as a jay bird, ready for her favorite time, bath-time.
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Storytime
Feeling like P.Diddy
My 2.5 year old and I listen to “the hit list” on music choice all the time at home. The other night at dinner she busted out with “When I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack, ‘Cause when I leave for the night, I ain’t coming back!”
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Vanilla Milkshake for the Baby
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One night we had run out of milk and it was too late to run to the store, but our 2-year-old son, a certified milk addict, just had to have more milk. So in a pinch, we improvised and made the next best thing. We melted vanilla ice cream in the microwave until it was liquefied and poured the delicious milk shake concoction into his sippy cup. He couldn’t have been happier! Problem solved!
Bad Parent
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I did a load of laundry this past week and forgot to throw it in the dryer. Admittedly, the clothes were in the washing machine for awhile before I got around to drying them. A few days later, while attending a book club discussion where I was adamantly saying one of the characters was a bad parent, I sniffed something that smelled off. It wasn’t until I got home that I determined the source of the offending odor was indeed my mold-scented Capri pants, which were hastily plucked from the laundry pile that sat in the washing machine for 3 days. Clearly, I have no right to stand in judgment of bad parenting, when my family walks around in clothes that smell like rotting sneakers!
The Bad Play Date
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My stay-at-home mom neighbor and I arranged a play date. She showed up looking like an LL bean catalog, and I rolled in, 30 minutes late, on two wheels, rushing from work, a frazzled mess. We won’t even mention my 2 screaming kids with runny noses. She didn’t look happy. Things got worse from there. The kids had many squabbles and then my 5 year old kicked a ball into her baby’s face. Needless to say – it was our last play date!
Dog Food for the Baby
The most recent imperfect moment I had was last week when I hardly slept the night before. I was opening a can to feed my child when I realized I was preparing dog food instead of baby food. And on top of that, I looked in the dog food bowl and found the baby food I thought I was opening. Luckily, I realized it before I starting serving it! This just proves that sleep is a necessity.
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Bicycle Trauma
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I was explaining to my 3 year old daughter the importance of wearing a helmet while riding a bike. She wasn’t quite getting it. That’s when a good idea popped into my head (or what I thought was a good idea), I should show her videos from YouTube that shows what happens to children bicycling without helmets!
The Joker
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While eating lunch the other day, my 3 year old calmly got out of his seat, picked up a Sharpie, and drew all over his face. My husband and I sat at the table and didn’t say anything to him. I looked at my child and said “If you want to use a Sharpie to draw all over yourself, that’s okay with me.”
Dead as a…Dog
Our family dog had to be put down, and my 3-year-old daughter’s chore used to be to give the dog treats.
I had to try to explain that the dog was dead, and what that means. I somehow added that everyone dies.
She started yelling at me, “Momma I don’t want to die like a dog!”
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A 5 Year Old with A Newborn Aunt
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My family is different. I know all families are different, but mine is extended, divorced, remarried, divorced again, step siblings, half siblings, siblings who you wondering if their siblings because their your husband’s step- father’s kids from another marriage… Yeah that kind of family. Now mind you I have 2 kids. Just 2. And explaining to a 5 year old family dynamics is odd, especially my 5 year old.
