1. It’s 1pm on a Saturday and you are bored out of your mind.
2. You stay home on St. Patrick’s day because of “all the drunks out there”.
3. Sleep is not that important to you.
4. You rather put money in the savings then blow it on a pair of shoes.
5. You sanitize your hands.
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My morning started by waking up to a funny smell and a “pleasant” discovery of dog diarrhea dragged all over my house by a crazy and senile Cocker Spaniel’s paws. Beating the clock, half naked and blind without contacts, I proceeded to step in some of it and then had to neurotically clean everything in sight. Just before I contemplated setting my house on fire, my daughter woke up in the mood to match the diarrhea in the plastic, tied up bag. She also felt the need to announce it to the entire block with screams that can only be described as “heart wrenching”. Dishes, breakfast, finding matching socks, 35 teary “Goodbyes” at the door, husband with the “burning eyes and throat”…and I am off to work.
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My husband and I loved to travel before we had children and made a conscious decision to not let having babies get in our way. Now that my two boys are out of their baby stage, I can look back fondly on the “challenges” that I endured. My first trip from New York to Los Angeles with my 3-month old was memorable to say the least, but I pressed onward. I was brazen with my choices. Before my oldest was 2 years old he had already been to 10 different states including Alaska. Although I enjoyed having my family by my side, traveling with a baby tested my patience. Yet the more places we visited the more I learned to adjust the way I travel. These top ten tips are what I’ve learned, but not always followed, during my travels with my babies (who sadly aren’t babies anymore).
10. Buy seeds. In a few short weeks I will be able to grow all the string beans and corn I want. OK, so I had to move the table out of the dining room to make room for my new garden in the house but it will be worth it.
9. Stock up on nonperishable foods. I’ve gone to Costco and stocked up on giant 160 oz. cans of potatoes and 100 lb. bags of rice. This must have saved me $0.03/ lb.
8. Build a windmill for the backyard. The kids don’t need that swing set anymore anyway.
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1. Barbies, unless of course they are dismembered.
2. Barney and his stupid song.
3. Hannah Montana.
4. Overpriced American Girl and their daughter-mother tea time.
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1. “Make sure that you develop interests and hobbies outside of being a parent”
2. “Get at least 8 hours of sleep every night”
3. “To feel better, get some kind of exercise every day”
4. “Find time to be romantic with your husband”
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For parents of young children, the thought of going to a restaurant with the kids may be daunting. With a little preparation, you can turn a chaotic meal into something manageable. Here are some tips to help those dinner outings go a little more smoothly!
1- WET WIPES. Meal time can be messy enough at home but the same disaster can be more than just a little inconvenient in the restaurant. Wet wipes, which are always good to have on hand anyway, could end up being a lifesaver at the table. Keep a pack or two handy on your night out and you won’t be dragging your kids back and forth to the bathroom.
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1. The first 10 minutes are always the best, because no matter who you are, you watch in horror and think to yourself “Thank God, these are NOT my kids” or “Do they have the death penalty in that state just in case I accidentally kill those kids?”
2. 15 minutes into the show you are crying like a baby with their mother, who looks like she hasn’t showered or looked in the mirror since the last one was conceived.
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10 Films for a Family Friendly Halloween Fright Fest
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With witches, vampires and monsters galore taking over the streets alongside stormtroopers, pirates and ghostbusters, there is no doubt that Halloween is the time when we love to embrace our fears. Along with ghoulish decorations and trick-or-treating, October means scary movies but it doesn’t also have to mean gruesome gore and graphic violence. There are plenty of horror films that are well-suited for children. Here is a program of ten frightening films that you can experience with your kids in your very own Halloween film festival. They’re really not so scary, just only kind of scary.
1. It’s hard to notice any discipline flaws through the cloud of smoke and haze of alcohol.
2. The “Parent Teacher conference” takes place in bed…while you are banging the teacher.
3. “Stay at home mom” has a new ring to it when someone else is watching your kids, cleaning your house and making your meals.
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