I am a bad parent.
I have been lying on the couch, watching football all afternoon. My wife is out with my youngest daughter. I am home alone with my 7 year old.
I haven’t fed her lunch or even checked on her in quite some time. She knows where we hide the 100 calorie packs. This should suffice.
I’m not overly worried but I am becoming a tad concerned. …read more
Sometimes being a Dad is dangerous. Sometimes it’s delightful. Other times, it’s delicious.
Dangerous
On Saturday night, I got slugged in the face by a bedazzled purse filled with Chucky Cheese Tokens. Yep that’s right. My 7 year old filled her purse with about 50 gold tokens and tossed it, in all of it’s glittery glory, right at my mug. She was standing about a
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My oldest daughter and I are very musical people.
We both love to sing and perform.
For her 5th birthday, I bought her a microphone and an amplifier. She uses it all the time. We have guitars in the house, a piano, keyboards and all sorts of musical influences, that serve as a constant source of inspiration and encouragement.
The only thing that’s been slightly disappointing for me, from a selfish standpoint, is that our tastes in music seem to differ quite a lot.
I grew up loving all things Heavy Metal; Manowar, Scorpions, Metallica, Queensryche and anything else I was able to bang my head to. As I grew older, my musical tastes continued to expand.
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I Hate You…
May I have candy?
You must first eat your supper.
You’re mean. I hate you.
My daughter has been bugging me for weeks to take her to the $1 store. For some reason she views this place as some type of shopping mecca. I’m not sure what she expects but whatever it is she’s imagining, the bar is set pretty high.
7 Year Old – “Daddy, can we please go to the $1 store today? Please. Please. Please.
Out-Numbered – “I suppose. What is it that you want there anyway?”
7 Year Old – “My friends got beautiful rings there and everything is $1. Can we go?”
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I have a really good relationship with my 7 year old daughter.
We have a lot in common. We both love music, we like to be in the spotlight and we are both extremely stubborn. I love being with her. Even when she is being “difficult”, I have a tendency to give her the benefit of the doubt. We make each other laugh.
I see myself in her. She’s an old soul in a tiny little body.
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“It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.” – W.T. Ellis
“Cook a Glazed Ham on Christmas for a friend and you will never again, walk life’s path alone. You also get to eat the ham.” – Out-Numbered
Growing up, most of my close friends were Christians. When I was a kid, that simply meant that I celebrated Hanukkah and they celebrated Christmas. It was pretty simple. As a young child, I clearly remember being jealous of my friends come Christmas time.
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I promised myself that before the year came to a close, I would take pause and reflect on what has been a grueling but truly gratifying year for me personally. Like everyone else, my family has had to find ways to make do with a bit less this year. My business has successfully weathered what some have considered to be the perfect, economic storm. I am beyond thankful to all of the people that have surrounded me, both personally and professionally. I couldn’t ask for a finer group of friends. I consider myself blessed.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a dilemma on our hands and something must be done.
Last week after school.
3 Year Old – “Daddy, am I a nice girl?”
Out-Numbered – “Of course baby. You are the nicest little girl I know.”
3 Year Old – “I’m not naughty?”
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Today is my Birthday. I am 39 years old. My head is too big to wear those stupid party hats. The rubber band always snaps. I can’t eat my own fucking ice cream cake because I’m lactose intolerant. If I get one more #1 Dad coffee mug, I’m gonna smash it into my own skull. Don’t sing Happy Birthday to me. That song sucks ass. Save it. 39 x 2 = 78 It doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out that I’m almost dead. …read more
Birthday sex. That’s good.
