Outnumbered

Outnumbered

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This is Real

Posted by: , January 9, 2010 in 10:44 am

This is RealI have a really good relationship with my 7 year old daughter.

We have a lot in common. We both love music, we like to be in the spotlight and we are both extremely stubborn. I love being with her. Even when she is being “difficult”, I have a tendency to give her the benefit of the doubt. We make each other laugh.

I see myself in her. She’s an old soul in a tiny little body.

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The Power of Ham

Posted by: , January 5, 2010 in 10:25 pm

The Power of Ham“It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.” – W.T. Ellis

“Cook a Glazed Ham on Christmas for a friend and you will never again, walk life’s path alone. You also get to eat the ham.”  – Out-Numbered

Growing up, most of my close friends were Christians. When I was a kid, that simply meant that I celebrated Hanukkah and they celebrated Christmas. It was pretty simple. As a young child, I clearly remember being jealous of my friends come Christmas time.

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Year End Self Reflection

Posted by: , December 28, 2009 in 10:45 pm

Year End Self ReflectionI promised myself that before the year came to a close, I would take pause and reflect on what has been a grueling but truly gratifying year for me personally. Like everyone else, my family has had to find ways to make do with a bit less this year. My business has successfully weathered what some have considered to be the perfect, economic storm. I am beyond thankful to all of the people that have surrounded me, both personally and professionally. I couldn’t ask for a finer group of friends. I consider myself blessed.

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Turn On Your Jew Light

Posted by: , December 19, 2009 in 11:23 am

Turn On Your Jew LightLadies and Gentlemen, we have a dilemma on our hands and something must be done.

Last week after school.

3 Year Old – “Daddy, am I a nice girl?”

Out-Numbered – “Of course baby. You are the nicest little girl I know.”

3 Year Old – “I’m not naughty?”

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Happy Berfday Douchebag

Posted by: , December 10, 2009 in 4:20 pm

Today is my Birthday.  I am 39 years old.  My head is too big to wear those stupid party hats. The rubber band always snaps.  I can’t eat my own fucking ice cream cake because I’m lactose intolerant.  If I get one more #1 Dad coffee mug, I’m gonna smash it into my own skull.  Don’t sing Happy Birthday to me. That song sucks ass. Save it.  39 x 2 = 78 It doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out that I’m almost dead.
Birthday sex. That’s good. 

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The Saddest Thing I’ve Ever Heard

Posted by: , December 9, 2009 in 1:38 am

The Saddest Thing Ive Ever HeardFact:

A child laughs up to 300 times a day. Compared to an adult, who laughs only 10-15 times a day on average.

Assuming this statistic is correct, I would probably categorize this as the saddest thing I have ever heard.

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100 Things I am Thankful For

Posted by: , November 18, 2009 in 5:56 pm

100 Things I am Thankful For1. My Wife
2. My Kids
3. My Mom
4. My Grandma
5. My Dad and Step-Mom
6. My In-Laws
7. My Brother and his family
8. My Sister

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Fairytales From the Darkside

Posted by: , November 13, 2009 in 1:21 pm

Fairytales From the DarksideSo my daughter is in the 2nd grade and one of the things they do in her class is called Snack-Story Time. Parents are supposed to pick a story, a snack and a day to come to the class to read that story and then administer the snack to the children. The hook is that if possible, you should pick a story that will tie into the snack of choice, as to make it more of an interactive experience. Sounds like fun! I obviously love stories and judging by the red indentations from my skin tight jeans, where my waistline used to be, I love snacks as well.

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What Would Ozzy Do?

Posted by: honestbaby, November 11, 2009 in 12:19 pm

What Would Ozzy Do?Driving in the car with my two daughters. My wife is at the Salon, again. We are on a mission. French Toast and Bacon at the Diner.

I have Black Sabbath playing in the CD player. I love Black Sabbath but it is obvious that my daughters do not share this passion with their Father.

Out-Numbered (Singing in Ozzy Falsetto)- “Nobody will ever let you know. When you ask the reasons why”

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I’m Not Bon Jovi

Posted by: Jason Mayo, November 4, 2009 in 10:08 am

Im Not Bon Jovi5:45AM

The Dream Machine chirps like a retarded bird. It annoys the living shit out of me. I want to beat the snot from its 25-year-old circuitry. I want to Jean-Claude Van Damme its Faux wood paneling and make it cry mercy but I refrain. Thanks for simply doing your job old friend. I appreciate you.

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