I have a really good relationship with my 7 year old daughter.
We have a lot in common. We both love music, we like to be in the spotlight and we are both extremely stubborn. I love being with her. Even when she is being “difficult”, I have a tendency to give her the benefit of the doubt. We make each other laugh.
I see myself in her. She’s an old soul in a tiny little body.
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“It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.” – W.T. Ellis
“Cook a Glazed Ham on Christmas for a friend and you will never again, walk life’s path alone. You also get to eat the ham.” – Out-Numbered
Growing up, most of my close friends were Christians. When I was a kid, that simply meant that I celebrated Hanukkah and they celebrated Christmas. It was pretty simple. As a young child, I clearly remember being jealous of my friends come Christmas time.
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I promised myself that before the year came to a close, I would take pause and reflect on what has been a grueling but truly gratifying year for me personally. Like everyone else, my family has had to find ways to make do with a bit less this year. My business has successfully weathered what some have considered to be the perfect, economic storm. I am beyond thankful to all of the people that have surrounded me, both personally and professionally. I couldn’t ask for a finer group of friends. I consider myself blessed.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a dilemma on our hands and something must be done.
Last week after school.
3 Year Old – “Daddy, am I a nice girl?”
Out-Numbered – “Of course baby. You are the nicest little girl I know.”
3 Year Old – “I’m not naughty?”
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Today is my Birthday. I am 39 years old. My head is too big to wear those stupid party hats. The rubber band always snaps. I can’t eat my own fucking ice cream cake because I’m lactose intolerant. If I get one more #1 Dad coffee mug, I’m gonna smash it into my own skull. Don’t sing Happy Birthday to me. That song sucks ass. Save it. 39 x 2 = 78 It doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out that I’m almost dead. …read more
Birthday sex. That’s good.
Fact:
A child laughs up to 300 times a day. Compared to an adult, who laughs only 10-15 times a day on average.
Assuming this statistic is correct, I would probably categorize this as the saddest thing I have ever heard.
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1. My Wife
2. My Kids
3. My Mom
4. My Grandma
5. My Dad and Step-Mom
6. My In-Laws
7. My Brother and his family
8. My Sister
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So my daughter is in the 2nd grade and one of the things they do in her class is called Snack-Story Time. Parents are supposed to pick a story, a snack and a day to come to the class to read that story and then administer the snack to the children. The hook is that if possible, you should pick a story that will tie into the snack of choice, as to make it more of an interactive experience. Sounds like fun! I obviously love stories and judging by the red indentations from my skin tight jeans, where my waistline used to be, I love snacks as well.
Driving in the car with my two daughters. My wife is at the Salon, again. We are on a mission. French Toast and Bacon at the Diner.
I have Black Sabbath playing in the CD player. I love Black Sabbath but it is obvious that my daughters do not share this passion with their Father.
Out-Numbered (Singing in Ozzy Falsetto)- “Nobody will ever let you know. When you ask the reasons why”
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5:45AM
The Dream Machine chirps like a retarded bird. It annoys the living shit out of me. I want to beat the snot from its 25-year-old circuitry. I want to Jean-Claude Van Damme its Faux wood paneling and make it cry mercy but I refrain. Thanks for simply doing your job old friend. I appreciate you.
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