Outnumbered
Posted by: Jason Mayo, March 30, 2009 in 9:13 am
This is one of those posts that probably won’t translate quite the way I intended it to. But I have to tell you that I couldn’t help myself this time. I’ve always tried to write this blog with sincerity. I continually try to put my heart out there for everyone to see. I have also been very conscious of keeping the content of this blog to that of a more anecdotal tone. In other words, I don’t like bragging about my kids or gushing over their specific achievements or milestones. I try not to post cutesy pictures of birthday parties, messy cupcake faces or first poop poops on the potty. Not that there’s anything wrong with that at all. There are a ton of great parenting blogs that chronicle the lives of their kids and they are absolutely adorable.
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Posted by: Jason Mayo, March 22, 2009 in 11:15 pm
Ok people. If you haven’t already noticed, we’re fucked. The housing market shit the bed a year or two ago. The credit crisis has pretty much crippled our economy and the stock market feels about the same as a drunken weekend in Vegas gone awry. Folks that were once considered filthy rich are either in prison or living in their parent’s basement. Everyday people that work like dogs to support their families are losing their jobs, their houses and basically fighting for their collective lives. Small businesses can’t get loans from banks that were once giving away cash like beads at Mardi Gras. Our educational system is under funded and broken. Young men and women are dying in countries whose names we can’t even pronounce. For god sakes, Paula Abdul has a career! What the hell is going on in this country?
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Posted by: Jason Mayo, March 16, 2009 in 9:06 am
In 1982 I bought my first electric guitar. I was twelve years old. It was a used black Memphis. I bought it from Danny Tramantozzi. It was an absolute piece of shit. That didn’t really matter though. I couldn’t really play anything at that point anyway. I bought it with the hope that I would someday be able to Rock. On that day I made a promise to myself. I made the ultimate commitment. I pledged my skinny ass, freckled face allegiance to Heavy Metal. I would only worship the Metal Gods. Hard Rock was to be my lover and I was a one woman kind of guy.
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Posted by: Jason Mayo, March 8, 2009 in 11:00 pm
Today my six year old daughter asked me two of the most intellectually profound questions I’ve ever been asked in my life. This could be due to several things but I’m assuming she’s either very smart or I associate with very stupid people. Perhaps it could be a little bit of both.
The two questions were:
1) Why is everything made in China? and
2) Are you the Tooth Fairy?
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Posted by: Jason Mayo, March 6, 2009 in 2:12 am
Lately I’ve been noticing a certain shift in the balance of power in my household. At first It presented it self subtly but it’s gotten quite out of hand as of late. I hate to admit it but I feel like I’m starting to lose control. I am 100% aware that the odds are stacked against me. I am also obviously cognizant of the fact that I am Out-Numbered in more ways than one.
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Posted by: Jason Mayo, February 25, 2009 in 1:19 pm
I first noticed it a few months ago. I was exercising one morning and as usual my oldest daughter was watching television and keeping me company. I wasn’t paying attention to the television or anything in particular except not having a heart attack on the treadmill. My daughter turned to me and tried to get my attention. “Daddy.” I tried to signal to her in between strides to give me a second to finish up. “DADDY!” She was very impatient. Something seriously important was on her tiny little mind. I smacked the emergency stop button and practically fell off the machine.
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Posted by: Jason Mayo, February 19, 2009 in 10:55 am
Every year my family and I make our annual pilgrimage to West Palm Beach, Florida to visit my in-laws. During the week leading up to our departure, my friends and co-workers ask me the same question over and over again. “How excited are you for your vacation?” I always have the same response. “Uh… it’s not really a vacation, so much as it’s a family trip but I guess I’m excited.”
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Posted by: Jason Mayo, February 9, 2009 in 9:39 am
In a bit of a tribute of my own, I’d like to make reference to this weekend’s honoring of the great and incomparable Neil Diamond as this year’s MusicCares Person of the Year.
Growing up a child of divorced parents, I often had to learn many of life’s hard lessons on my own. My mother was a strong and nurturing woman but she could not completely take the place of my father who was not always around. Although my dad was only a phone call away it was never quite the same as having that face-to-face contact.
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Posted by: Jason Mayo, February 4, 2009 in 1:25 am
It took place early this morning on the way to my real job. I was getting off of the train with the rest of the zombies, sheepishly plodding along the crowded platform in the thick sea of bulky winter coats and funny hats. As miserable as the cattle line appears, there is something slightly therapeutic about the monotony of it all. Walking along that train platform, making my way up toward the street is very familiar. The path is predictable. It’s all muscle memory for me at this point, like a good golf swing. Most of the time I have my ipod on, dictating a mood inspiration to my tired brain. At that hour, I need all the help I can get. One of the things I try to avoid at all costs is eye contact with another human being. You don’t want to look at anybody the wrong way, let alone start a conversation. Keep to yourself, stare straight ahead and keep walking. But sometimes shit happens. There are forces in this universe that you can’t control, unpredictable occurrences that one does not have the ability to foresee. I don’t remember much of the happening but I do remember feeling as if I were outside of my body, hovering above the scene, watching it all unfold in slow motion.
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Posted by: Jason Mayo, January 26, 2009 in 3:54 pm
Shhhhhh. Please be very quiet. Be very still. Keep the lights low. I am actually wearing gloves as I type this to minimize the noise. I sit in complete darkness so they think I am asleep. I’m fearful they will wake up. The very thought of it terrifies me. I’m begging you. I can’t take another minute. I’ve been waiting for this moment all day. This is the moment in which I can be still. This is the moment in which my frazzled mind can catch up to my weary body. In this moment I can now find peace, inner sanctum, Fahrvergnügen. But I must not take this time for granted. I have to keep moving. Oh my God. Did you hear that noise? What was that? Is my tired mind playing tricks on me? No! There it is again. It sounds like it’s coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE! Dear Lord in heaven please don’t let them take me. I don’t think I can… “DADDY!!!!” “DADDY, I NEED YOU!”
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