First, I must apologize for being MIA. After I got knocked up everything took a backseat… Even my nails. I’m 7 months along now and will use this entry to reflect on Sex While Pregnant, or SWP. SWP shouldn’t be confused with its neighbors, DWI or DUI. It’s not illegal or immoral although it is rare. Just kidding. OK, I’m not. I’ve heard there are women who are more turned on when impregnated. I’m not one of them.

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So. I’m pregnant. A home pregnancy test confirmed it last week. Even though I’ve known for sometime how babies are made, it’s always surprising when it happens to me. It’s like weight gain. Sure I know that cheesecake and popcorn are high in calories but when my pants actually fit tighter, I’m baffled.

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Ok, my sweet husband and I are officially in “making another baby” mode. Message boards call what we’re doing The Baby Dance. Bottom line: our daughter is 2.5 and we’re worried about having two kids that are so far apart in age that they couldn’t care less about each other. The logical part of me knows that even if kids are 8 year apart they’ll still love each other, but that’s not what Parenting magazine says.

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My husband and I have been flirting with the idea of adding another chick to our roost lately. I mean, you can’t just have one kid, right?  We’re both very clear on how babies are made but neither of us are 100% committed enough to getting me knocked up.

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I often say that staying in the “Sex and the Sippy” mindset is not an
8pm-10pm operation. Have you heard the phrase, “foreplay starts in
morning?” In order to feel like sexy time is at all an option after
chasing kids and doing endless loads of laundry you’re going to have
to put some effort in mammas.

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My husband and I are starting to think about having another child. To be honest (this is honestbaby, right?) we’ve done more than just start to think about it; we’re playing with fire. See for us, actually trying to have a baby doesn’t sound like any fun- who wants to have sex with purpose. We’d rather play Russian Roulette, go off of birth control and just see what happens.

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I’ve heard that some people schedule sex. I’ve also heard that some people wash their walls. I’m not sure what freaks me out more.

Maybe it’s because I consider what goes in my momAgenda “obligations,” but writing “get down and dirty with my spouse, Oct 23rd” in my planner just freaks me out. Sex should be a priority in every marriage because it’s an important mode of communication (and fun). I know some women out there show how important it is by planning it and while I’m positive that their better halves appreciate knowing that it’s a FOR SURE, but I can’t just can’t get on that train.

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We moms are forever complaining that we don’t have the energy for sex. Ok, yes we’re tired and overworked, but how can we not have the energy for something that is supposed to make us feel good? If a dude knocked on your door at 11pm and told you you’d just won a $10,000 shopping spree at the boutique of your choice I doubt the words, “Not tonight, so tired” would come out of your mouth. A burst

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It’s hard enough for moms to feel like jumping out of their jeans. Don’t let these three libido killers ruin what could be a very naughty evening.

1. Watching Law & Order Special Victim’s Unit before bed.

Hearing a heart wrenching story about a five-year old’s brutal demise is not going to help you feel all tingly “down there.” Plus, 99% of the perps (yes, I said perps) are men and I don’t know about you, but I

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We’re busy. We’re tired. We’re slightly resentful of the fact that the bulk of parenting seems to be on our shoulders. Plus you didn’t unload the dishwasher.

Moms always have a reason why it’s easier to say no than yes in the bedroom. You’d think all of the modern technology would have lightened our load. We’re not washing laundry, or even dishes, by hand. I rarely even pick fruit off of a tree, much less walk to the market. What drains us so much that we can’t muster up the energy to have sex?

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