The Mummy Chronicles
Posted by: Victoria Mason, March 23, 2009 in 6:07 pm
We are at the doctors office waiting for me to get a wonderful strep test. As I stand at the counter giving the receptionist my information I hear my youngest begin to fuss in her baby carrier. TD, my oldest daughter, tries to distract her and stop her from crying. As she does this an elderly woman approaches her and begins to help out.
TD looks up at her and says, “Dash Two and I are both white.” The woman smiles and says, “Well, yes, you are both white. Umm… if you weren’t white what other color would you be?” TD smiles and yells, “Green!” She waits a beat and then states, “But not purple!” The waiting room full of people laughed.
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Posted by: Victoria Mason, March 20, 2009 in 1:59 pm
I’ll be the first to say I’m no recessionista. In fact, I hate the term. I find it ridiculous and stupid. Living the “recessionista lifestyle” is just good common sense that we can and should be applying to our everyday lives no matter what the economic circumstances. This article by Kelly Marages in the Washington Post sums it up quite nicely, I think.
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Posted by: Victoria Mason, February 19, 2009 in 11:51 am
The threes are upon us. With the passing of the second year seems to be the ushering in of brand new smarty pants answers, brave new excursions on bikes and the passing of the afternoon nap.
Ah, the afternoon nap. The point in the day where I had a bit of solitude and work could be done. The only time in the day where I felt free to roam about the house without someone asking me a million questions or why I was eating a cookie and she couldn’t. So long dear friend. How I will miss you. I will miss our quiet times and the afternoons free of meltdowns and being able to stay inside and not have to brave the chilly outdoors. Story time will multiply and my work life will become that much smaller. The million and one questions that I’m peppered with will increase two-fold. I’ll probably lose some weight because I’ll no longer be able to attack the goody shelf in the pantry with wild abandon between 2 and 4 p.m.
Goodbye nap and hello to the new weekly babysitter. How else will I get anything done?
Posted by: Victoria Mason, February 11, 2009 in 11:07 am
“C’mon TD lets get going. We have to leave soon for the doctor’s office.” I said. My three year-old went into planning mode immediately.
“OK, Momma! I just need my calculator and that’s it. That’s all I need. Then I’ll be all set.” She said as she picked up the calculator that she pronounced in a way that sounded more like ‘copulator’.
“I just need my calculator and this flashlight. That’s all I need. Just this calculator and this flashlight. That’s all I need. And this box. I just need my calculator and this flashlight and this box. That’s all I need and then I’ll be all set…”
I put my hand over my mouth to cover my smile and stifle the giggle. All I could think was that either I need to start monitoring her television watching more or she has just been possessed by Steve Martin.
Posted by: Victoria Mason, February 7, 2009 in 1:04 am
Scene: My darkened bedroom. H and I are lying in bed talking.
H: (in a drawl) You shure do have a purty mouth….
Me: Ick! That’s sick! Never say that again!
H: What?! Oh that bothers you? Finally, I’ve found something that bothers you! You can talk about bodily fluids and functions, dismemberment and more but that bothers you?
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Posted by: Victoria Mason, January 28, 2009 in 2:28 pm
When I realized that I had left the burners on the stove on for the second time that week. When I started crying at a stop light for no apparent reason. When the idea of going anywhere in my car made me want to pull all my hair out and scream. I knew I had a problem.
I looked at the calender and realized. Yup. Same time as last time. Somewhere between eight and ten weeks post-baby I just lose it. It’s normal I’m told but the weepiness and feelings of insanity, the not being able to sleep despite being so incredibly tired? That’s not. I’m dealing with Postpartum depression. Round two. I was hoping to just glide right on by it with the second child but it seems it is not to be. It’s another go at medication, therapy, sucktastic blog posts and days that feel they have no end.
I know that I’ll get through it eventually. It’s the getting to the evenutally part that seems so hard and daunting. Especially when no one wants to take a nap.
Posted by: Victoria Mason, January 22, 2009 in 2:19 pm
I’ve ruined dinner two days in a row now. Chicken was overcooked one night. Hamburgers were raw the night after that. Did I mention that I burned the fries and the pasta? Oh yes, indeedy!
The dog peed on the stairs some time this past weekend and I only just cleaned it up today. By the way? It’s a Wednesday.
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Posted by: Victoria Mason, December 29, 2008 in 9:21 pm
I bought my eldest child a sled for Christmas. Nothing big. Just a two-seater plastic thing. While we live a bit south of the nation’s capitol this born and bred New Englander has high hopes for some fluffy white stuff each and every year. Last year? No dice. Pretty please this year Ms. Mother Nature?
Now that I’ve bought this sleek gray sled I’m thinking that Mother Nature just may decide to hold out on me again this winter season. While the Farmer’s Almanac is all about blizzards and fresh powder by the igloo full, our area has had nothing but drizzly rain and not even the icy freezing kind. The giant hill behind our house mocks us each morning as we open the curtains to look for freshly fallen snow. I abhor winter but I love me some snow. I am loathe to see yet another toy in my house regaled to storage and sit unused collecting dust. The sled is a classic! How could I go wrong in purchasing it? Yet, it mocks me daily as our yard turns to mud instead of frozen tundra.
Buying that sled and even saying it was from Santa seems to have jinxed me from ever seeing the great white drifts. Mother Nature you owe me some snow!
Posted by: Victoria Mason, December 29, 2008 in 1:19 pm
My husband and I had a date night not too long ago. We were, like most parents, ecstatic over the free grandparent baby sitting and the idea of having a dinner not just out but at a place with dim lighting, cloth napkins, flaming candles and no crayons on the table. To me the biggest problem was what the heck I was going to wear. I was not quite out of my maternity clothes (OK, just the freakin’ pants) and not quite fitting into my regular shirts (the girls are nursing and porn star looking these days). However, my husband had a whole list of things that now compile the ‘Date Night Do’s and Don’ts’.
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Posted by: Victoria Mason, December 17, 2008 in 5:08 pm
There I was busily typing up my blog post for the day when my daughter TD enters the room with her itty bitty baby sippy cup. She presents it to me and says, “This is your beer.”
My beer? I glanced at the clock on my computer screen. It is only 11 in the morning. Dare I start drinking now, be it real or pretend? What’s more, should I accept beer from a minor? And a toddler no less!
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