The tooth fairy flaked last night, and it’s not the first time.
My daughter has been waiting patiently for weeks for her loose bottom tooth to come out. For almost two weeks she has been wiggling it, testing it, and pulling at it in hopes of expediting the process. And finally, it came out while she was in school.
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It has been hot. H-O-T. Hot. Combine that with the fact that I am now eight months pregnant and was told to walk by my OB and we had ourselves a tough situation. It was easily solved by deciding to head to our local mall. Unfortunately, many others had the same idea and the place was a madhouse. Crowded, hot and a recipe for disaster with two hot, quickly overtired children.
My job has been outsourced.
My position has been eliminated.
My services are no longer required.
I’ve had an involuntary separation…
…from the job of feeding my daughter.
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Just when you think there is nothing new and innovative to invent…along comes a ’smart mom’ to create something fabulous! Smart Mom (great name by the way) created ”Teething Bling” (great name by the way) for the little sucker to suck on. It’s AWESOME!
We all know how teething babies are not only curious but love to put everything and anything they can get
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1. You attempt to pad the “tantrum space” psychiatric asylum style.
2. You want to scratch that stranger’s face who in a fake concerned voice asks “What is wrong with her?”
3. You want to double scratch the face of that flat stomached, freshly out of the spa, 20 something bitch that rolls her eyes.
4. You mentally go through “selling your child on the black market” option.
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My 2 year old has recently started biting. I believe he is using it as self defense. One little boy always grabs toys out of his hands and my son’s initial reaction is to bite his hand to get him to let go of the toy. Supposedly it’s out of frustration because he can’t talk that well yet. I know it’s bad and I’m working with him but if one more person says something to me as if it’s my fault, i’m going to punch them (guess the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree). One mother asked how I was disciplining him, as if I haven’t read every book about this. I’m doing what you’re supposed to do. Punishing him immediately and giving more attention to the child that has been bit. Another mother asked what was going on at
The other day it was about 6:30 AM and the two boys were watching television on my bed while I got ready in the bathroom. I heard some giggling but figured they were laughing at the show they were watching. When I came out, I discovered that my oldest (4) had helped my younger one (2) off with his sleepy pajamas and diaper. With his new found freedom, my toddler left 6 perfect little dollops of poop in various spots of my bedroom floor. Quite an artist. I was livid. As I yelled, I attempted to clean up the disaster, using lots of toilet paper and depositing it in my toilet bowl. I guess I must have stopped up the toilet because while I was washing the little one off in his room, I heard my older son go to the bathroom and flush my toilet. About 5 minutes later I heard rushing water and realized that the toilet had MAJORLY overflowed. So much so that it was coming down through the floor below to the kitchen. I ran down to the kitchen and discovered a waterfall in the middle of my kitchen ceiling. I finally got things under control. It took hours to clean up and had to call a repair guy to deal with the ceiling. That night when I was getting into bed I reached down for the notebook that I keep by my bed for to-do lists. I picked it up to discover another little dollop of poop that I had missed. It had now hardened and I had to throw out my notebook.
Mean Mommy came out of her cave again last night. I keep hoping that she will go on a nice, long, tropical vacation somewhere or even get the chance to tour the vineyards in Italy but it doesn’t look promising.
Everyone told me that it isn’t the Terrible Two’s I had to watch out for the but Tantrum Three’s. They were quite right. I have never seen anything so dramatic, over the top or hysterical than the tantrums thrown by my daughter. She makes the women on ‘Rock of Love’ or the ‘Bad Girls Club’ look like nuns. At one point right around the holidays she seemed to have turned over a new leaf. We breathed a quiet, stealthy sigh of relief and made the sign of the cross. Weeks went by and our house was a happy home. Dinners were ate with quiet conversation. Errands were run without hysterical sobbing episodes. All was quiet on the western front.
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1. They slept a lot and late. I would get to wake THEM up and then relax on the bed for hours of parenting bliss.
2. They slept in their cribs OF COURSE. Where else?
3. They cooed.
4. They had teeth from the second they came out.
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Sometimes the pacifier habit will phase out on its own. But sometimes your kid is entering Kindergarten and people are giving you looks (no judgments here). It’s time to bring in the big guns. Getting your child to give up the pacifier without major drama can be quite a challenge. Here are ten tips, which might make it easier.
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