Grand Canyon of Motherhood
Remember when you were a child and your best friend would go away for a week on a family vacation?? As you were lulling around your backyard yearning for her companionship, trying desperately to remember all the stuff you wanted to tell her? upon her arrival home–like about the cute boy who smiled at you at the swimming pool? or that lame comment so-and-so made when you walked past her at the playground–your BFF was gazing at the Grand Canyon.
I’ve come to the conclusion that when one decides to be a stay-at-home mom, the Grand Canyon of Motherhood is The Workplace.My best friend has been on vacation in The Outer Banks.? A few days ago my mind wandered to her and I thought, I hope Kristin comes home soon-I miss her.? Then, unceremoniously it hit me:? She works full-time.? It’s not like her return home from The Outer Banks is going to alleviate any of my loneliness.
At that point my Grand Canyon analogy started to form.? When I worked full-time I ingested a steady diet of my closest friends.? Even those with whom I did not work were somehow emotionally closer to me because we were all part of the same race–The Rat Race.? But steadily over time I’ve found myself alone in my backyard, yearning for my friends to come home.? However, unlike when I was 10 and my list of “Stuff I Have to Tell Jenny When She Gets Home” was easily remembered, now that I am 37 that list is longer, more detailed and a lot more difficult to recall when I finally get together with someone I haven’t seen in say, six months (rather than six days).
I am the only one of my pre-baby friends who is a stay-at-home mom.? Well, that’s a bit of a fib, my friend Jenny (childhood vacationer extraordinaire) is a stay-at-home mama, but she lives an hour away and her sons are nearly tweens.? Ho hum.? The rest of my friends have remained a part of Corporate America and oddly enough, this makes remaining close nearly impossible.
When you wake at 6 A.M., race to get yourself showered and dressed, your kid(s) to daycare and your butt in your office by 9 A.M., I totally get it that your stay-at-home mom friend is last on your list of concerns.? At 5 P.M. you are racing from the office to get to the daycare to grab the offspring and get your butt home to eat whatever you have yet to think of making for dinner.? I get it.? I really do.
The moral of my story is this:? Being a stay-at-home mom is wonderful.? I’ve experienced every second of Benjamin’s development and I would never complain about it or trade it for the world!? I just wish I could shake this feeling of swinging alone on a swingset in the Backyard of Life.
