How much should my baby be napping?

How much should my baby be napping?

Posted by: Mara Nusspickel, March 3, 2008 in 2:30 am

Help Mrs. Pickle!  I have a 7 1/2 month old baby born 5 weeks premature. He is a great sleeper since we got a routine for him at 4 months (using the crying out method). I am confused however on how long he should be awake before needing a nap. I used to watch the clock and make sure that after 2 1/2 hours (at this age) he would be in his crib. He does nap for long periods of time but now I find that he isn’t showing any tired signs on some days until he’s been up for 3 1/2 hours. He isn’t cranky so is it okay to go by watching him and not the clock?  He sleeps about 11-12 hours per night. How much should he be napping at this age and does it change at all till age 1?

Thanks,

Sandy

  

Dear Sandy,

It is great that you were making sure to get him in for a nap after a certain length of time of wakefulness, however at this age you can begin by watching your baby and the clock time. In other words, watch him closely for his tired signs to determine the best “clock time” of day for his naps. Most children of this age begin their naps somewhere between 9:00 and 10:00 AM for the first nap, between 12:00 and 1:00 for the second nap, and sometimes have a variable third nap for a brief period of time at around 3:00. Remember however, that once your baby is about 9 months old he should give up this third variable nap or it may interfere with bedtime. Also, most babies are still taking two naps at one year old. Oftentimes babies begin to give up one of the naps, usually the morning nap, however this can take months. Be sure not to assume that your baby is finished with a nap if he doesn’t take it once in a while. This transition should be slow and gentle, so keep putting him in for his naps even if he does not take them every day. At about a year and a half he will most likely have moved to one nap.

Best of luck!

Mrs. Pickel

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 Hello Mrs. Pickle,

Our son is 6 months old and had not been sleeping more than a 4 hour stretch per night with a few 2 hour stretches after feeding and needing assistance to sleep after each awakening (We fully responded to all cries). Usually he was only sleeping 8 hours or less per night, total. He sleeps in his own room with white noise and darkness and we had been doing a bedtime routine but my husband and I AND the baby were all sleep deprived. Naps have been 2-2 hour naps on my lap while nursing off and on in twilight sleep.

A few nights ago we started extinction training after his usual routine (story, sleep sack, nursing, lullabies), when he was drowsy/mostly asleep we put him in his crib at 9 pm and he jolted a bit awake and cried. He cried 1 hour 20 minutes before sleeping. He then slept 7 hours before waking and crying. I nursed him and changed his diaper and he slept another hour for a total of 8. I tried to put him down for his nap about 1.5 hours after waking since I knew he was still tired and he slept 20 minutes then cried for 40 before I got him. I kept him awake 1.5 more hours and tried again. He slept 10 minutes in crib then cried for 40 and I got him and let him sleep on my lap for 2.5 hours since I was desperate for him to sleep.  That night he went to bed at 8pm and did not cry or wake until 3 am. I nursed and changed him and he slept from 4 to 7, so a total of 10 hours. His daytime naps today were on lap (3 45 minute naps) since we needed a break from the CIO and I read you do not have to train for naps at the same time as nighttime training.  Tonight we got him to bed earlier, at 6 pm since he was exhausted and he cried 1hour 10 minutes. We will see how he sleeps tonight but my questions are:

Should I be making him sleep at night with CIO or is it more important to get him to sleep during the day by any means necessary so he is not overtired by bedtime?

I know he is so sleep deprived I just want what is best for him which is more sleep. By the way I tried co-sleeping first and he did not like the family bed for more than an hour or two at a time either. CIO is hard on all of us and I want to make sure it is effective and we are doing it right so it will be over with fast!

Thank you for any help you can offer!

Alexandra

Dear Alexandra,

It can be so hard to know what to do when your child is sleep deprived. The “crying it out” method is very hard on parents! The best thing to do, of course, is to keep your child well rested so they don’t cry at all. How do you do this? In your case, it is important that he takes his naps on his own at this age. It’s very warm and comforting on your lap, but the twilight sleep you are describing is not really very restorative for him. It is important to put him down somewhere quiet, semi-dark, and motionless for his first two naps. Usually I advise parents that the third variable nap (taken only until a baby is 9 months old) can be with noise, motion, or sound, but in your case I would try to break him of the habit of sleeping on your lap as soon as possible. Once his naps are better established during the day, he will be better rested and more able to sooth himself to sleep at bedtime which, by now you’ve realized, should be no later than 6:00 at this stage. In fact, for an extremely overtired baby I often recommend a 5:00/5:30 bedtime until they catch up on their sleep. In addition, remember that a nap of less than 1 hour is not really restorative, so it is important that if your baby wakes up after less than an hour you leave him alone for up to another hour to see if he can fall back asleep. In response to your comment about not needing to nap train at the same time as nighttime training, it is my belief that they go together completely hand in hand. Once naps are established, bedtime sleep will always become easier for the child. I do agree that you need to maximize sleeping during the day to enable him to get the rest he needs for bedtime, however all sleep is not equal and sleeping on your lap will not allow him to do this. My recommendation is “sleep boot camp.” Make sure you understand his sleep signs and put him in for his naps BEFORE he is overtired. There may be some crying, but if you leave him to fall asleep on his own each time, he will catch on much faster. The intermittent reinforcement of sometimes going to him makes it harder for him to understand what is expected of him. It will be much quicker and less painful to allow some crying at nap and bedtimes in order for him to learn one of the most valuable lessons a child can learn, to sooth himself to sleep.

Best of luck,

Mrs. Pickel

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 Hi Mrs. Pickle,

One of my twin girls has developed an extremely bad case of night wakings.  It’s a good night if she only gets up four times, typically it is 6 or more.  They turned 4 last Friday, January 25th.  We have a structured bedtime routine that we consistently do each night (read books, tuck in, several songs, then off to sleep on their own).  We start around 8pm.  The girls gave up their nap over this past summer.  Our problem surfaced in the Fall, when school started.  While going to sleep is not a problem, staying asleep throughout the night has vanished. When she comes to my bedside, I immediately walk her back to her room, tuck her in with a kiss, and tell her not to get up again.  No fanfare, very little dialog.  Then she is back again, never asking for anything, just showing up at my bedside.  What to do?  I’ve read books and tried what is recommended to no results.  I’ve even tried to bribe her to sleep all night with small gifts from the “princess sleep fairy”.  It worked a time or so, but no long term results.  Any ideas?  It has developed into a cycle of not sleeping at night, leading to any extra tired and fussy child during the day.

Thanks, in advance, for any advice you can share.  It is affecting me and her twin sister, as they share a room.

Signed,

A Mom who needs a good night’s sleep.

 

Dear Sleep-deprived Mom,

When children give up their nap, they need to go to bed at an even earlier bedtime than before. I believe that 8:00 is too late for your daughter, especially after spending the day at school where she is no doubt extremely active. Your responses at night are appropriate, lack of dialog, returning her to her bed. However, her night waking is a result of being overtired. A “quiet rest time” during the day where your child sits with her blankie or teddy bear and a cup of milk watching TV for an hour or so and an earlier bedtime (around 6:30/700 – as early as you can do it) will work wonders!

 

Best of luck,

Mrs. Pickel