Intrinsic Inshminsic

Intrinsic Inshminsic

Posted by: Samantha, December 8, 2009 in 9:41 pm

I started learning about “intrinsic motivation” in high school, from what I remember, although I’m sure in reality it’s something our society starts putting into our brains pretty young. The idea that we need to have motivation and desire to do good things, and not do bad things, for no other reason than because we want to do good things and not do bad things.

Before I became a parent, and basically up until my daughter hit age 2, I whole-heartedly wanted to apply this to my parenting. I may have even thought parents who didn’t were totally doing it wrong and were going to produce pleasure-seeking, weirdo kids.

Now my daughter is almost 2 and a half and I have a 3 month old son. Fellow parents know what this means. I’m just trying to make it through my day. At this point, honestly, whatever works to get my daughter to do what I want her to do, I will do. Alright, maybe not ANYTHING. But I’ll be honest; my standards have dropped quite a bit.

We live in a third floor apartment. If it’s going to get my daughter to climb up the stairs (as I am carrying my son in his car seat and a purse and probably another bag) in less than 20 minutes, and not just lay face down on the second stair she encounters (as is often her habit) by telling her she’ll get to watch Dora when we get there, then so be it.

If bribes of chocolate are going to get my daughter to eat a few more bites of dinner, then so be it.

If it’s going to allow me to put my son to sleep for a nap by allowing my daughter to, once again, watch Dora, so she’ll stop chattering at the top of her lungs, then so be it.

I have not yet begun potty training, but I used to really turn my nose up at parents who give their kids candy in exchange for using the potty. I wanted MY daughter to do it because she WANTED to. Because she knew she had to be a good, big girl. Not because she knew she’d get teeth decaying, sugary candy goodness afterward.

Well guess what!? This little girl will sit in her poop for hours, I swear to you, as her little butt is eaten up and a nasty rash forms, without saying a word. Without my knowledge. As I think about potty training her, the prospect of a few M&M’s in exchange for using the potty is looking like a pretty acceptable idea.

She’s only 2. I am now beginning to imagine all I have in store for me. And besides being pretty daunting, mostly, it sounds pretty fun. As long as I don’t go crazy.