My 6-month old wants to be held during napping!
Dear Mrs. Pickle,
I have a 6-month old daughter who has regularly napped since she was born- usually once in the morning around 10 (unless she wakes up very early and needs an additional earlier catnap) and once in the late afternoon around 3pm. She would definitely sleep around 2 hour stretches for both when I hold her. But the minute I put her down- Bam! She wakes up and can’t get herself back to sleep without me soothing her (nursing and or rocking). I am a stay-at-home mom and didn’t mind being chained to the couch or bed for those hours so I can catch some zzz’s or watch some television but now I am getting quite frustrated. I tried to let her cry it out and after 30 minutes, couldn’t bear it. I even tried going in after 5 min, then 10 min, and just couldn’t handle the crying and went back to holding her for the duration of her nap. I tried to swaddle her and it worked for about 10 minutes tops and then she is awake again. She sleeps ok though the night although lately she’s been teething and constipated and it’s disrupted her 7-8 hour stretches of sleep. Please let me know if you have any ideas of how to put her down to nap without causing such misery to her.
Thanks!
frantic mom
Dear Frantic Mom,
My first question is regarding her bedtime. What time is she going to bed for the night? At 6 months old, it should be between 5:30 and 6:30, depending on whether or not she has had a third nap that day. Once she is awake in the morning, she should be going in for a nap at around 8:30/9:00 (check her and the clock for sleep signs to determine her best napping time), and then again at around 12:30/1:00 (again, check for signs). As you are learning, these naps need to be quiet, motionless, and with very little light. At 6 months old your baby is starting to really notice her surroundings and holding her while she sleeps is producing only a “twilight” state of sleep when what she really requires is a deep, more restorative nap. The third variable nap, however, should only be about a half hour and can be with motion, sound, and light. I personally always tried to avoid this nap, unless my children really needed it, and instead put them to bed earlier for the night. It just always seemed to work better for us. I do believe that your daughter is too tired by the time you are putting her in for her naps and, therefore, is not at a peaceful enough state to sooth herself to sleep. Putting her in earlier for her nap-times BEFORE she becomes overtired is key. An overtired baby will always have a difficult time not only falling asleep, but staying asleep. In addition, you are absolutely right to connect the poor napping to her nighttime issues as well. Once you get her into a better naptime routine, her night sleep will once again correct itself.
Best of luck!
Mrs. Pickel
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Dear Mrs. Pickle,
My 2 year old is going through some sort of awful sleep phase. It used to be that I he would sleep through the night every night without interruption. As of about a month ago he’s been waking up regularly in the middle of the night. He screams and cries and demands milk or to be rocked. The first few nights I rocked him until he fell back asleep but as soon as I would put him in his crib he would begin crying again. So the past week I have been falling asleep in the rocking chair with him. If I just leave him in his crib and ignore him he doesn’t go back to sleep and I can’t sleep either. I work and cannot afford to miss this much sleep! Why all of a sudden is this happening? I’m not comfortable letting him cry for long periods of time. Do I have any other options?
Thanks for your help!
Stacey
Dear Stacey,
It seems that your child has learned that there’s such a thing as a “night life,” something many children go through. Children normally have periods of time every night when they wake up and put themselves back to sleep, however if your child is somewhat overtired for whatever reason, one of these night wakings will often turn into what you are now describing. It is important first to make sure your child, at two years old, is still getting an adequate nap during the day (at least an hour) and is going to bed before he is overtired. For a two year old, bedtime should be about 6:00/6:30, depending on your child. Remember that at this age there are many more activities in his life, and that although he is getting older, he may need to go to bed earlier to compensate for this. Second, you must work to extinguish this habit by doing the following. During the day, tell your son that “tonight is going to be different. If you wake up and cry for me at night, I will come and check that you are ok, but I will not look at you or hold you or talk to you, and then I lie you back down and go back to my room.” It is important to explain this to your child during a non-stressful time of day, for example playtime or lunch. That night, do as you have described. Continue to do this over and over again. He will soon learn that nighttime is for sleeping and that you will not be giving him any attention at night. It is important to remain firm but loving and most of all, CONSISTENT! I can’t stress the consistency enough. If you give in even once, your child will simply learn that if he cries enough, eventually you will give in. You will have to listen to some crying, yes, but in a night or two your son’s “night life” will be a thing of the past.
Best of luck!
Mrs. Pickel
