Our bedtime ritual is too long!

Hello Mrs. Pickle!

My 2 1/2 year old has a bedtime ritual that last over an hour.  He takes a bath, brushes his teeth, and gets on his pajamas.  Then I read him 3 books, we sing together one song and then I sing a lullaby as he closes his eyes.  I have to wait until he’s fully asleep or he will wake up.  It is really cutting into my time in the evening.  Is this too excessive?  Thanks!  Amanda, 29 

Dear Amanda,

 If you feel that this extra long bedtime routine is cutting into your evening time then yes, it is a bit excessive. The schedule you have described can definitely be cut down a bit. You can begin by reading him 1 or 2 books, depending on the length. In addition, and most importantly, your son needs to learn to sooth himself to sleep without your assistance. At this age, you should be putting him into bed, sing one song, say goodnight, and walk out of the room. He may protest this, of course, and there will no doubt be some crying, but he will get it eventually. Just make sure that he is not overtired at bedtime. An overtired child will have difficulty falling asleep. At this age, he should still be napping during the day and going to bed at a reasonably early hour at night (no later than 7:00 and as early as 6:00 is fine). If your child is well-rested enough, you should be able to help him learn this valuable skill in as little as a night or two. Just be sure to tell him during the day that “starting tonight bedtime will be just a little different. Mom my will put you to bed, sing a song, and then I will say goodnight. I will be right outside your door while you fall asleep.” Try not to get too detailed. Keep it short and simple and use terms that your 2 ½ year old will understand. And remember, you must be firm yet loving, and most of all consistent. If you don’t follow through and keep to your word, he will only continue to expect you to come in every night and may cry until you do so. Again, consistency is the key here. 

Best of luck,

Mrs. Pickle

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Dear Mrs. Pickle,

Our son is 5 months old and doesn’t nap more than 45 minutes.  I put him down for a 10:00 AM and 2:00 PM nap each day. I’ve tried to delay it so he’s more tired like 10:30 or 3:00 but it doesn’t make a difference.  I make sure it’s quiet and he’s not disturbed.  He wakes up after 45-50 minutes no matter what I do.  He often seems tired and cranky when he wakes up.  Do some babies just need less sleep?  He sleeps fine at night – 7:30 PM to 6:30 AM.  What am I doing wrong?   Jennifer, 31

Dear Jennifer,

It’s great that you have realized the importance of naps, and that a nap should be at least an hour long for it to be fully restorative. I would, however, put your son in for his naps at more age-appropriate times. At 5 months old, most babies are beginning their naps anywhere from 8:15 to 9:00 in the morning, again between 12:00 and 1:00 in the afternoons, and with a third very brief (1/2 hour at most) nap at around 2:30/3:00. I believe that your son is too tired by the time he gets in for his naps. It is difficult for babies not only to fall asleep when they are overtired, but to stay asleep as well. In addition, although he is sleeping through the night, he should be put to bed a bit earlier to make sure he is fully rested by morning. I would say no later than 6:30, and as early as 5/5:30 if he did not have a third nap that day. Don’t worry, this will NOT cause him to wake up earlier in the morning. In fact, you may notice he will actually sleep in a little later. It is never a good idea to delay sleep20times for a baby in the hopes that they will be more tired and sleep better. The opposite will occur, as babies are genetically programmed to become more excitable the more tired they are. This, back in cave-men times, was a survival instinct that may have served them well then, but can be difficult now. Just be sure that your baby is in his crib BEFORE he gets overtired (you’ll notice his tired cues if you study him) and he’ll start to nap longer.

Best of luck,

Mrs. Pickle

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Hi Mrs. Pickle,

My 7 week-old daughter won’t sleep in her bassinet!  She likes to sleep in our bed, on my chest, on my husband’s tummy, in the bouncy seat, the swing…anywhere but her bassinet!  Every night she’s somewhere different.  She’s not the greatest sleeper either.  Is it possible that some babies don’t like to sleep on flat surfaces?  Should I prop up her head?  I was told not to put anything in the bassinet so I don’t want to endanger her.  I’m exhausted and just want a normal nights sleep!  Please help.

Courtney, 34

Dear Courtney,

Many babies do need to have their heads propped up in order to sleep better. However, it is important that you speak with your pediatrician so that he or she can recommend a safe way to do this. Do not place anything inside of the bassinet without your doctor’s say so, as it can be dangerous. Having said that, there are sleep positioners you can buy that can provide a safe way to prop your baby’s head up. Again, check with your doctor regarding which one he or she would recommend. In addition, be sure your baby is swaddled well. At this age, a good tight swaddle around your baby’s body (not her face, of course!) will help her feel more comforted and secure. You can also try a white-noise-maker which has always helped my children sleep from early on. Other than that, just remember that most babies are quite fussy early on, but then begin to calm down at around 6 weeks of age. You are at the turning point and, provided you are offering her quiet, motionless, and semi-dark places to sleep during the day after no more than one hour of wakefulness, she should soon become a great sleeper!

Best of luck,

Mrs. Pickle

Have a question about your child’s sleep habits? Ask Mrs. Pickle at mrspickle@honestbaby.com Just be sure to provide your child’s age and daily sleep patterns to get the most personalized response…