Should I take away my 4 year old’s nap?
Hi Mrs. Pickle,
My 4 1/2 year old still naps. He wakes up between 6:30 AM and 7:00 AM most mornings. He naps around 1:00 PM for an hour sometimes 90 minutes and goes to sleep between 8:00 and 8:30 PM. He’s very happy to go down for his nap so I haven’t stopped it and his schedule works for us. He is a very active boy and someone suggested that maybe he would calm down if he wasn’t sleeping so much. How can too much sleep be bad? Do you think I should phase out the nap?
Thanks,
Talia
Dear Talia,
If your son is happy and sleeping well at night I see no reason to take away his nap. I do not believe that too much sleep can make a child too active, which is most likely just a part of his wonderful personality. If he needs the nap and you take it away too soon, he may become overtired and even more hyper. If your town has full-day kindergarten, however, he will be forced to give up this nap at that time so you may want to ease him into it well before he starts. Once you do eventually take away his nap, be sure to put him to bed at least an hour earlier to compensate for the lost sleep. Congratulations on having a great sleeper!
Best of luck,
Mrs. Pickel
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Dear Mrs. Pickle:
I have 7.5 month old twin daughters who share a room but are in separate cribs and are great sleepers at night. They usually go to sleep at 6:30pm and wake up somewhere between 6:30 and 7:00am. I have established relatively regular nap times as well.. I will put them down at 9am and again at 12:30pm, my problem is that they don’t sleep very long (an hour tops) and I feel that especially after the afternoon nap, they are still tired. One reason they might be waking up before they’re ready is my noisy neighbor but I guess I can’t really do anything about that! They don’t take a third nap anymore, so after their second nap they are up for a good 4 to 5 hours but they’re cranky in the late afternoon. Bedtime is usually not a problem and they go in their cribs drowsy but awake. They might cry for 5 min after we leave the room and that’s it. Is there any way to try to get them to sleep longer naps? I don’t usually get them the minute they wake up, but it’s very obvious that they’re done and want out of their cribs. Do you have any advice for me?
Sincerely,
Dora
Dear Dora,
Sometimes children are just short nappers. On the other hand, if you believe they are being woken up by a noisy neighbor, try buying a “white noise” machine or putting a fan in their room to block out some of the noise. In addition, there is nothing wrong with putting them to bed even earlier than 6:30 for the night if you think they are tired. At 7.5 months, a 5:30 bedtime is not unheard of, especially if you feel your daughters are tired at that time. There is no hard and fast rule about sticking to a bedtime if your children are tired before that time comes. Of course, you want to be fairly consistent, however being flexible with an earlier bedtime when children are tired is always a good idea. And don’t worry, an earlier bedtime will NOT cause your children to wake up earlier in the morning at this age.
Best of luck!
Mrs. Pickel
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Dear Mrs. Pickle,
If possible, I would love your outlook on my 10 month-old son’s sleep ‘issues’. I’m feeling mildly desperate as he is an incredibly sensitive sleeper and has been overtired a lot of his life from taking too many too-short naps! I’ve done so much research and tried so hard to help him…he has slept independently from an early age (I’ve been willing to let him cry to try to help him!), he goes to bed early at night (anywhere from 5:15-6:30 depending on how his naps have gone), I’ve tried to study his cues, I’ve watched the clock and watched him to try to hit the perfect sleep windows, etc., etc. But for as long as I can remember (and I’ve kept a sleep log recording every bit of sleep he’s had since he was 12 weeks old!), on most days at least one of his morning or afternoon nap is short…in the 30 minute range. He is not a short-napper; he can certainly take longer naps when all the stars are aligned and the timing is right…and he is a different baby when he does! These too-short half-hour naps leave him cranky and overtired, and he falls asleep very easily early in the evening (and sleeps through the night for 11.5-13 hours, barring overtired nightwakings where he puts himself back to sleep quickly enough). Unfortunately, he often wakes very early (before 6am) because I’ve been forced to put him to bed very early because of bad naps and to avoid having him nightwake from being overtired. I tried always putting him down around 6pm and no earlier, all his naps got very short, and his night sleep started to suffer. I have very consistently left him in his crib for 20-30 minutes following short naps and he does NOT go back to sleep. I do not do naps in the car; all in his crib, where it’s dark and quiet and we do a consistent nap routine.
-Any ideas on how to lengthen his naps?
-How do I balance watching his cues with watching the clock at his age and temperament? Which is more important?
-Do you think it’s possible with his backlogged overtiredness that he can’t handle a 9am & 1pm nap schedule? Am I trying to push him too hard to get him to take a nap at 1pm? If I don’t push him to 1pm and he takes a short nap, then he’s *really* tired, even by 5:30pm.
-Does this sound normal to you? Sometimes I wonder if there is
something else going on (like some sort of medical problem?) since he still sleeps so badly despite all the efforts I’ve made.
-How do we get out of the overtired hole by putting him to bed early when he just wakes early the next morning? If he wakes at say, 5:15am and won’t go back to sleep, do you recommend trying to stretch him all the way to 9am for his first nap? If not, what do you suggest?
Thanks, Mrs. Pickle! I admit I’m a little obsessed (you can probably tell that!), but these short naps are making both my son and I crazy. I would do anything to help him. Thanks if you have any advice, and for your time even if you don’t 
Amy
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(NOTE: If you feel your child may need medical attention, please contact your pediatrician right away.)
Dear Amy,
You are a very diligent mom and your efforts at trying to get your little one to sleep better are very admirable. You seem to know exactly what it takes to get your child to sleep well, but something is missing. I experienced this with a client of mine. She worked and worked at her daughter’s sleep schedule in order to get those naps, all to no avail. It is almost more difficult when once in a while your child takes a good nap, as this leads one to believe that these longer naps are possible. As with your son, my other client’s daughter would do exactly as you describe, sleep short naps and become quite fussy and overtired because of this. I was unable to view your schedule (the link was broken) but I am curious to see just how many changes you make in his schedule week by week. Remember, it takes time…sometimes a week to ten days…for babies to catch on to a new schedule. If you change a schedule, it is important to allow them this time to “catch on.” This may mean a week or two of very short or even absent naps, however if you are quite sure of your baby’s tired signs and approximate sleepy times, all should eventually fall into place. In your case, I believe that a 6:00 bedtime is much too late. If a baby is not napping well at 10 months and appears overtired, I would stick with a 5:00- 5:15 bedtime. This will not cause the early awakening you are describing. The reason for the early awakening is the too short naps. The first year is very tough. Trying to get two good naps in can be very stressful when your child doesn’t take them no matter what you do. The good news is that at a little over a year old he will be giving up one of those naps and start taking one 11:00 nap. This should cure all of your problems. My other client was never able to get her daughter to take two naps; they were always about 1/2 hour no matter what she did. Now her baby is 18 months old and takes a solid 2-hour nap every day at 11:00 and sleeps from 5:30 at night to 7:00 in the morning. In the meantime, I would be a little looser about the strict 9:00 am and 1:00 pm nap schedule. These times may not be right for your baby. In my opinion, he should be going in for his morning nap anywhere between 8:30 and 8:45, depending on what time he woke up that morning. In addition, if he does not take a good morning nap, put him in a bit earlier for his second nap, say around 12:30, but no later than 12:45 for him right now. It is important to be consistent with nap times, however you must be flexible to your baby’s changing daily needs. Putting your baby to sleep up to 15 minutes earlier at any sleep time is always fine if he really seems tired. This can mean bedtime too. In fact, an extremely overtired baby can be put to bed at 5:15 until he catches up. Again, the first year can be a tough time for sleeping and you are doing an excellent job of keeping track and trying your best to get him to nap. Hang in there. Even if he never takes two good naps, in a few months you’ll be able to switch him to one and his overtired state will disappear for good.
Best of luck,
Mrs. Pickel
